My father was, above all else, a sailor. As a result, most of the lessons I learned from him, I learned on a boat. The one that returns to me most often has to do with steering. He taught me that a in the flow of wind and water, gentle change is the way to go.
There are two parts to the steering mechanism of any sail boat; The rudder and the tiller. The rudder is the part of the system that you see in the water behind the boat. The tiller is the part you hold on to. Through the tiller you can feel the interaction between the boat and the sea. What you give is what you get back, and sudden movements telegraph though the craft rattling you out of the natural flow. I learned that I might want my heading to suddenly be different, but I wasn't in charge, the sea and the wind and the craft were.
Today I am thinking about my father and the lessons he taught me. I am remembering that as much as I might want things to be different in any given moment, change happens slowly and in its time. The best I can do is hang onto the tiller, feel the ocean and its intentions, and allow the flow to show me what to do next.